SEX
This is why it means so little.
Since the age of 12 I witnessed it on a big screen.
Moans of pleasure, but just for the treasure.
Beneficial for the wealth that made their pockets as big as their prints.
But love was never in the picture.
Middle school was filled big bellies and open mouths.
Everybody wanting a quick nut, no planters.
Never thinking about the consequences,
just the short satisfactions.
Or the fact that at the age of 16 I almost lost my innocence.
Hands on my body, lips on my neck.
"Stop" must've meant "go",
and the word "no" must've sounded like "yes"
My savior happened to be a gun pressed between fingers,
As he ran out of the back door before it got too much for him to handle.
It could be because of my first boyfriend, who wasn't my first.
And though even with sex, I still ended up getting hurt.
Because I wasn't the only one.
And even when we did, it always ended with a problem.
More than one partner got me like whatever,
Knowing that sex doesn't mean someone's together.
It could be that night with R.
I knew that it was too late to chill.
And then we kissed,
"We're not having sex"
"Just go with the flow"
"I don't want to have sex"
Was tempted by head, I couldn't said no.
But oral turned into penetration.
And that turned into tears.
He held me down, while I yelled stop.
I was facing my biggest fears.
And then he tried to console me,
Like a parent with her child after a spanking.
Never to talk to him since.
What about the guy that I thought was different?
He's not like the others.
Only for him to like the river flowing from my legs more than the love that flowed from my heart.
And though he says he loves me more than any thing,
Actions speak louder than words.
And the panic in his eyes and sterness in his voice when sex wasn't a option,
Scarred my mind with doubt.
And made me think that every man is the same.
Just wanting sex.
So now with experience, my common sense has kicked in.
Should've listened to the Rev. When she told me to wait.
To always trust in God and keep the faith.
Cause if he loves you enough, he'll wait.
Until you're ready,
Something bigger than just going steady.
Because your goodies are for more than just a sweet tooth.
And bigger than just my ass,
Or what's between my legs.
I'd rather go for a walk,
than laying in your bed.
Sex is only momentary,
and I want something that last forever.
To then one day give my all, that symbol of love.
But right now Sex means nothing.
Sex, is just that.
At least for now.
Since the age of 12 I witnessed it on a big screen.
Moans of pleasure, but just for the treasure.
Beneficial for the wealth that made their pockets as big as their prints.
But love was never in the picture.
Middle school was filled big bellies and open mouths.
Everybody wanting a quick nut, no planters.
Never thinking about the consequences,
just the short satisfactions.
Or the fact that at the age of 16 I almost lost my innocence.
Hands on my body, lips on my neck.
"Stop" must've meant "go",
and the word "no" must've sounded like "yes"
My savior happened to be a gun pressed between fingers,
As he ran out of the back door before it got too much for him to handle.
It could be because of my first boyfriend, who wasn't my first.
And though even with sex, I still ended up getting hurt.
Because I wasn't the only one.
And even when we did, it always ended with a problem.
More than one partner got me like whatever,
Knowing that sex doesn't mean someone's together.
It could be that night with R.
I knew that it was too late to chill.
And then we kissed,
"We're not having sex"
"Just go with the flow"
"I don't want to have sex"
Was tempted by head, I couldn't said no.
But oral turned into penetration.
And that turned into tears.
He held me down, while I yelled stop.
I was facing my biggest fears.
And then he tried to console me,
Like a parent with her child after a spanking.
Never to talk to him since.
What about the guy that I thought was different?
He's not like the others.
Only for him to like the river flowing from my legs more than the love that flowed from my heart.
And though he says he loves me more than any thing,
Actions speak louder than words.
And the panic in his eyes and sterness in his voice when sex wasn't a option,
Scarred my mind with doubt.
And made me think that every man is the same.
Just wanting sex.
So now with experience, my common sense has kicked in.
Should've listened to the Rev. When she told me to wait.
To always trust in God and keep the faith.
Cause if he loves you enough, he'll wait.
Until you're ready,
Something bigger than just going steady.
Because your goodies are for more than just a sweet tooth.
And bigger than just my ass,
Or what's between my legs.
I'd rather go for a walk,
than laying in your bed.
Sex is only momentary,
and I want something that last forever.
To then one day give my all, that symbol of love.
But right now Sex means nothing.
Sex, is just that.
At least for now.
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